Voting is closed for this contest. Thanks!
by John Vazquez
Some say that a brash, egocentric rich man with no experience in government, elective office or military service is not fit to be president of the United States. I beg to differ. In fact, I don't beg, I demand to differ because begging is for losers. What is more American than an aggressive go-getter? Was the United States founded by sensitive liberals? Hell, no. Face it, in today's rabid political arena you have to be brash to run the gauntlet of the primary system. You have to have cajones and when you use the word 'cajones' it displays that you really love the Mexican people—especially when they stay in Mexico.
Ego and self-regard—they are the two legs of a three-legged stool. Americans want their leaders to be confident, even when they're wrong. We don't want somebody always apologizing for just being a guy and saying things every guy says. When you are the leader of the greatest country on earth you don't have to always apologize, just say 'so I was wrong, big deal—deal with it.'
being rich is the other leg of the stool. Does anyone want a poor man to be president? 'Poor' says loser.
a rich man got that way by making deals. he even wrote a book about making deals. It is clear as the nose on an ugly girl's face that a deal maker would be an excellent president.
Being an outsider is the other leg of the stool. Being an outsider would be good for the presidency. What are the insiders doing. Ask Mitch McConnell. They're doing nothing, that's what they're doing. We need a president who can break the eggs of stalemate and cook a legislative omelet.
It would be so beneficial to have a leader who is flexible, hugely flexible. One who is not handcuffed to specific policies can just change his policies in a hot minute. Flexibility, that's another leg of the stool.
A brash rich man would not get bogged down with a bunch of advisers, either. Guys like him have pretty good brains and he would go to that brain for some good advice and counsel. Make that another leg of the stool—a pretty good brain. A bunch of advisers would only muddy the water. A rich man can see clearly because he sees through the glasses of self-interest.
Being a great businessman is another leg of the stool—what? That's more than three? Seven or eight? Let me tell you this, you naysaying liberal bean counters, three legged stools are lame. This guy's stools are going to be huge—HUGE—and it is time for some simple huge leadership and people had better get aboard or get stuck in loserville.