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The Joy of Argument by Albert Navarra

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PokemonGO much more beneficial than school

by Trey Adams

What do you mean Math class is more important? Have you ever tried to run the algorithm through your head of tracking down two footprints that just turned into a 3 footer for the fifth time? You start to create shapes even Einstein didn't know about! Who uses miles and feet nowadays? If you want to hatch this egg you'd better take 9375 steps, at an average stride of nigh 1 meter per step. Keep it up and you'll reach your 10 kilometers in no time! And English class? What. A. Bore. Why do we need to learn all these fancy words when in a time of crisis, like a high level Pikachu is escaping, we rarely need to stray from our comfort words. Who needs to learn anatomy? PokemonGO teaches you the important parts. The center of the chest and the head are the most reliable and important parts, get anywhere else and you're fishing for a wasted pokeball. The only gym you really need in your life, is the one down the street, that team red has been occupying for an entire week and needs to be taken down. If you don't have a four-minute mile down by the second week of training pokemon, you're doing it wrong and gym class might be the slow pace that you need. The fine dexterity and motor skills developed in shop are hard to beat. The finesse required to hit a leaping Eevee with a curveball? Harder to beat.

 

Now I'm not saying that school is useless. Just like I won't say that outhouses were unnecessary at some point. Sometimes, there's just a better alternative. And if you want to be one of "those guys" and stick with the outdated, I guess you may as well go all the way and do my homework too.

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